At some point or another we’ve all made decisions about money with the best of intentions but perhaps the outcome wasn’t that great.
Maxed out credit cards. Judgements. Collections. Overspending.
Is that you?
If it is, how is it affecting your relationship? Are you still making decisions that hurts your relationship financially more than it helps?
Now, I’m ready for the blowback telling me that love conquers all but honey, let it go!
The #1 reason for divorce cites money issues as the reason. So for that reason alone, it’s really important that you consider how your actions may be affecting the relationship.
Now, this is different than having a checkered financial past and then working to make the necessary changes.
I’m talking to the woman that shops too much, sneaks money from the bank account, ducks calls from collection agents, borrows money from friends with no intention of paying it back – all with no intentions of fixing the issue – today.
No one wants a partner who purposely creates financial drama. You’ll become more of a risk than an asset.
And here’s the thing – men are primed to live their lives as providers. Money is one way in which they they handle that responsibility. If you’re a threat or screw that up then you might find yourself on the chopping block.
Let’s make a decision to do things differently once and for all.
Admit Where You Are
Are you in a financial mess? Admit it to yourself. That’s honestly the first step towards making a change because you first have to admit to yourself “this isn’t working”
Create a Financial Plan
Whether you do this with your partner geared towards your future or you do this for yourself. Create a financial plan that you feel good about. Start with a plan for the next 6 months, 1 and 3 years. Start with your financial values. This is actually one of the modules in the course 21 Days To Rock Your Money!
Work on being a partner and not a liability.
Have the “money talk” with your partner. You make time for the important things like taking your kids to school, going to the dentist, and watching Game of Thrones, so be sure to make the time to talk about your finances. If you find it hard, why not put a time and date in the diary.
Communication is key. Don’t buy that $600 dress without making sure such a large purchase is OK. Some people need to consult for a $50 purchase and others, a $200 purchase, different strokes for different folks. Whatever yours may be, keep the lines of communication open.
Reconcile the Damage You’ve Caused In Your Financial Life
Make amends. Do you owe friends money? Are bill collectors chasing you down at work and at home? Do you know your credit score? Take an honest look at exactly what’s wrong financially and create a plan to change it. One way to do this is via my 21 Days To Rock Your Money! course.
This was a popular blog series I created a few years ago now transformed into a free ecourse for those wanting to make concrete changes – financially.
Commit to Change
I have a different approach to this. Take a few moments by yourself and really think about where you are financially. Does this feel good? No? But are you ready to change? I don’t mean reading a Suze Orman book and yelling to Facebook that you’re ready to change.
I mean truly committing to and laying out a plan to change everything about your financial situation. Specific. Measurable. Actionable. Realistic. Timed. change. If you’re really ready then GET READY. But don’t tell me that you’re ready when you’re not. If you’re not, that’s OK. It’s better than spinning your wheels. But I’ll tell you ridding yourself of your financial issues feels better.
Ask Your Partner To Hold You Accountable
Your relationship should be the type where you can tell your partner where you are and ask that they hold you accountable. Commit to a weekly or monthly meeting where you can keep abreast of your progress and detours to the plan.
Admitting that our actions may be more of a deterrent not only to ourselves but to others is hard. I get it. But sometimes we have to hear the hard stuff to really understand how our actions may affect not only our life but those close to us. Commit to change. Make amends. And move forward with a plan. You won’t regret it. A woman with a plan makes for a happy man. Cheesy, I know, but true.