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Yes, I know we’ve discussed this topic ad nauseum here and where the post first went live as a guest post at Consumerism Commentary.

In my defense of bringing this up again, I was contacted by ABCNews to discuss my views on marriage and money as it relates to the book: Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream–And How They’re Paying For It.

And, while I think certain phrases are used mainly for shock value to pull the reader in, I generally agree with the premise.  Don’t let sensationalized romanticism be your sole guide in choosing your life partner.

If you meet a guy who has a string of debts from New York to Colorado and has no sincere intention (not wherewithal) to repay them, then run like you stole something!  Seriously, how a man treats his finances — if he is not willing to honor his debts and obligations — is an indicator of how he will treat you in the marriage.  I take this as a character flaw and not one I am willing to put up with in the marriage.  Call me what you want, but I am not that girl.

Still, I’m also not saying that you should walk into a marriage thinking that if you bring your looks and he brings his wallet then all is well and done in the land of happily ever after either.  Let’s keep it real here ladies, your looks will fade over time and he will continue to make money.  What will you do when he decides to trade you in for the latest Aston Martin?  Become an asset to your partner and not a liability, coming to the table with only your looks makes for a bad business deal in which you’re just a depreciating asset.

Real Talk.  My goal is to keep it real with you here and not fill your head with gold digging dreams of snagging a guy solely for his money and thinking that you will be nothing more than a trinket in his box of tricks. If you’re going to do this anyway, be smart about it, go to school, get some business acumen and make it a learning experience.

Too many women find themselves penniless and poor after being dumped by a wealthy partner with no real concrete plan around how they would get back on their feet.  Here’s a hint, walk in to your relationship with an education and a plan because prince charming doesn’t exist and a man is not a backup plan.

However, while I do advocate making sure you’re partner is financially viable, please don’t go into the relationship only checking this box, make sure he is loving, respectful, shares your emotional values and someone who you know you can spend your life with through thick and thin.  Love, not money gets you through hard times.

Here are a few excerpts which, frankly tickles me to see this in print…. *snicker*…the authors are BOLD!  LOL

sgmmexcerpt

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Now, while I disagree with pushing women to use their feminine wiles to snag a man solely for money, I do agree with making sure that you wont be broke and in the poor house because you decided to marry a financially irresponsible partner.

Thoughts? 

 

This article was originally published on Jun 8, 2009 and updated on March 10, 2012.

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