Should Single Women Compromise Their Financial Requirements In A Potential Mate?

Surely you’ve seen the newest video or article going around discussing the single black woman’s plight around finding a mate within the black community. If you haven’t, read on, the overall comments on the subject will be interesting.

After watching the video yesterday, the part that jumped out at me was the discussion around money/finances in a relationship and the ladies’ requirement in a mate. Steve Harvey asked whether or not the man has to make 150,000/year if she makes that amount?

What say you?

If you made 6 figures, is your requirement that he make 6 figures as well? And, be honest, yes/no and why? I don’t care if you’re black/white/asian/hispanic/indian-whatever. Just need your perspective.

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GingerGirls Just Wanna Have Funds is a personal finance website dedicated to educating and empowering women in the area of personal finance. Our articles center on money management: making it, saving it and growing it which supports our theme: Breaking Financial Ceilings One Stiletto At A Time. We have been featured in Business Insider (contributor), Lifehacker, Consumerist, MSNBC, Essence, Wall Street Journal, Good Morning America and MSN Project Engage Web Series. I believe in a future where women can have financial freedom and choose the life they want to live by taking control of their finances. You only need to want it hard enough while letting go of limiting beliefs around money. Join me as I share tips that will help you light up your financial life and take control.View all posts by Ginger →

Luba

The amount someone earns is not a show stopper or drawing factor since I am a female now single after 20 year marriage who is financially set with a graduate degree. The former spouse was all about money and always quoted his HUGE salary and told me I needed to earn more although earning nearly 6 figures. Money is NOT a top priority to me especially in matters of the heart. However, the attitudes behind not achieving more in the realm of education or professional development and advancement, are more crucial. In other words, is he only earning $20k annually because he was a high school drop out and refuses to go to college out of laziness. Is he motivated like I am to improve ones lot in life – to strive for self development – to 'Be all he can be'. I agree with the former poster also. It is first and foremost key in the bigger picture, where is his heart in his personal relationship with God the Creator and our Comforter. Does he show and express love or is he a loner, demanding of others around him, operating out of fear and limitations? The bank account in and of itself is not the focus. The attitudes and the heart are more important.
http://www.getmysize.com Brett

As a male, I would feel uncomfortable if a woman made significantly more than I did. Maybe it's just me, but that would make me feel less masculine.
http://www.brevityandwit.com Minny

His FICO score is more important and a better predictor of your marital happiness than his salary.
http://www.cesidebtsolutions.org Lillie

Only 54 percent of black men eligible for the single ladies. Interesting! I guess I'm lucky in that I have been there and done that as a widow; however, if the right man comes along, regardless of color, I'm open to discussion. However, I have to admit that I, too, have certain standards in place and also I am not willing to just settle.
domo

typical american discussion so overlaid with race issues…
http://www.richdadwisdom.com RichdadWisdom

What happen to the good old-fashioned love, where love conquer all…even the bread and butter…
"Want to get my number, show me your bank account!" *ouch*
http://www.financialsamurai.com Financial Samurai

Actually, my main requirement for the woman I date is that she makes at least 50% more than me! I'd like to retire 5-10 years early that's why.
http://tomaszgorecki.com thomas

Essentially this is a field that varies in terms of women choosing what their criteria is for picking a man/husband.

The interesting thing about this video is 2 things.
1. Women becoming financially sufficient
2. Men not being real men
.-= thomas´s last blog ..Dark side of social networking sites =-.
Sara

Absolutely some one needs to be financially compatible. You need to be able to compromise on matters where you are not totally aligned and be able to stay your course. I do make 6 figures and my husband does not. That will probably stay true as long as I am working. He works at a university, but not as a professor, so his salary will be more limited than mine and he and I are both A-OK with that. We do some interesting numbers games figuring out how to budget – like bills must be less than twice his salary added up, but the house payment itself is just based on my salary – things like that. But we decide together.
http://www.mischiefmydear.com/dramatispersonae Ashe Mischief

I have to agree with My2Cents– "Honestly, I think that regardless of how much money they make, I think how you think about money is more important. If I make $100k and he makes $20k, but does what he loves and is fiscally responsible, I would date him. If I make $100k and he makes $500k but can't balance a checkbook, forget it."

As a woman who works in the non-profit sector, but is doing what I love, I recognize the factor that my partner has the right do to the same. The bottom line is that we value money in similar ways and that we manage it similarly– not how much we make.
My2cents

Honestly, I think that regardless of how much money they make, I think how you think about money is more important. If I make $100k and he makes $20k, but does what he loves and is fiscally responsible, I would date him. If I make $100k and he makes $500k but can't balance a checkbook, forget it. I don't believe in trying to change people, and I don't want to have the "I'm better with money so let me do all the $$ management" talk.

As far as the women in the video, I'm a black woman, educated, great career, and I date a lot of black men and other races who are very successful. I'm young and I'm not ready to settle down yet, but I have met a couple of men who are… and a few who aren't. I don't know why these women deal with what they do, but I find that first impressions really set the tone. When I meet men while I'm well-dressed and professional, they tend to treat me better and want a relationship. When I meet the same type of men when I'm out acting crazy, they tend to want something more casual.

Who knows. Good luck ladies!
http://www.dogatemyfinances.com dogatemyfinances

I just found this whole video weird in 2009. Seriously? Are we really saying that black women should default to black men? Why not to men with college degrees or men of the same faith or, you know, any other demographic factor.
missmajestic

Hmm it depends on what the financial requirements are. In the video, I think Steve is the one who mentioned six-figures, not the women. They just want someone who is stable and independent…not living with mom, robbing peter to pay, Paul, dodging bill collectors etc.

Money is not an issue for me. However, I do want a mate with at least a bachelor's degree. Judge me, call me elitist or whatever, I'm not willing to fudge on that unless he's like a Bill Gates kinda dropout.

I once dated an older man, as Steve suggests. He made much more than me, as he should have because he was farther along in his career. However, he had 15K in CC debt. This wasn't the deal breaker in the relationship, but it was a huge problem for me. In my mind, a grown man with no kids had no business with that much CC debt. And he didn't see anything wrong with that. He lived the good life, trips, clothes, etc. He told me everyone dies with debt. And that statement let me know right there that financially we were not compatible. A man with bad credit and a lot of consumer debt would to be perfect from head to toe, inside and out for me to consider him.
http://divinedebtfreedom.blogspot.com Divine and Debt Free

I saw your comment on blackandmarried and when I clicked on the site I realized where it was taking me too!! I haven't been here in a Good minute but its good to be back in the PF blogworld. Im adding this site to my roll tahday!

anywhoot the amount of money he makes is NOT going to play a factor at all in my decisions. Im looking for him to be a man of God first and not just saying he is but his actions are showing. I think once thats covered all other matters honestly should fall into place. I also plan to judge each person by their own situation, I can't generalize every man because just like I have my own story so do they.
http://clickartistmediallc.blogspot.com Mighty Moe Betta

Yes, women should reconsider financial requirements, because those financial requirements are preset cursors for failure. Usually when he has that money, she finds something worse is wrong, and they saw the signs and ignored it for cash.

Men and women should come together to see what they can do to improve on whatever situation they have, for better or worse. That's like a man saying he will only deal with a woman with a DD cup…eventually like physical status, financial status changes too…so what do you do when the pockets begin to sag? leave? hmmm…