Before you read and comment, catch up on previous episodes here:
I rarely discuss the drama that surrounds reality TV shows here but since the internet is a buzz with the latest Love and Hip Hop episodes, I can’t help but chime in with the obvious lessons in love and money for women. I caught up on the full episodes after reading Luvvie’s post on Stevie J and his Groupon peen. I just had to see what this was all about since I decided not to watch after seeing the trailer.
We’re all pissed off once again at VH1 for producing yet another ratchet reality TV show that depicts women in the most gutter positions available to them in life! And, if you’re a black woman, this especially hurts to see us depicted in this manner. What’s interesting to me are the decisions some of the women make as it relates to love and money. Let’s chat about that…
Money Will Never Buy You Love
The central characters on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta are chasing love and money. This is a familiar goal that most of us can relate to, that is wanting to be loved and becoming financially successful. What’s clear is that they equate sex and money with love and acceptance while giving up chunks of their souls in the process. The lesson here is: I don’t care how much money he makes, if that man doesn’t want you and you alone then you will never be happy. Steve J bought Mimi a house in the boondocks and she was smart enough (just this once) to realize that without him coming home to her at night (a sign of commitment in her eyes) that she wasn’t satisfied.
The other side of the Mimi/Stevie J triad is Joseline who thinks that as long as she lets Stevie J bang her she-man brains out she’ll get his love, attention, fame and money. That almost never happens for the vast majority of women who chase down fame and wealth thinking that it’s a good substitute for love. I’m also certain that God reserves a special place in STD hell for women who intentionally sleep with another woman’s man but then again Stevie J’s penis seems like it’s always on auction with Mimi being the highest bidder.
Community Penis + Commingled Money = Trouble
If you’ve watched even 1 episode I promise that you probably want to want to strangle Mimi by now! This chick somehow thinks that by owning 20% of Stevie J’s business that it makes up for the Tom Foolishness that he has put her through over the years. He makes bad penis decisions with his business as a producer by cheating on Mimi with his newest protege Joseline Hernandez. Why would she want to expose herself financially and legally to that foolery? I would simply draw up an agreement that states I receive 20% of all profits, but never business partners. There’s a difference. Just send a check and keep the partnership out of it because that money aint makin up for nothin! Or better yet, step away from the penis! Good penis will make you do dumb crap like this so I’m not surprised. My advice? Close the gates and shut that down. Then see how much power you have in the relationship. The moment you start having sex with a man who does not have a ring on your finger with a true commitment you’ve already lost.
Love Before Money – Always
Love yourself enough to know that staying with a man for money and status is never a good idea. Inevitably you’ll get knocked down a few pegs when you realize that money doesn’t bring the fulfillment that deep abiding love for one’s self will. Mimi thinks that getting Stevie J to sign over 20% of his business to her will make up for the fact that he shares his penis like a Groupon special, but she is sadly mistaken. She’s gotta love herself first and foremost before thinking that 20% of what he makes will buy her some self esteem. It’ll pay for trips to the doctor when she discovers that she has an incurable STD. Furthermore, that 20% will be shared with new baby mammas getting a cut of her money.
Rasheeda is managed by her husband but seems to be unable to separate their business and marriage relationship due to wearing many hats: wife, mother, hip hop artist etc She lets her emotions get the best of her which costs her a few thousand dollars because she’s pissed that her husband reduced the stylist budget due to the overbearing cost of the music video. I’m not in her shoes so I don’t dare judge. But my advice to her would be to put her marriage before business and work on being able to separate the two which seems impossible given the range of emotions related to their drive to be successful as a recording artist and in marriage.
However, I applaud their open dialogue about how mixing marriage and money has affected their marital relationship. Communication is key and their conversations about separating money and emotions related to the business can teach us a lot about how to have open communication within a relationship.
I also want to say this. While I appreciate Mona Scott Young’s (the show’s producer) hustle to build a media empire, I am ashamed of her decision as a woman to showcase and pimp other women in this manner. Yes, these women/cast members chose to be on the show, but without such a platform they would have to seek exposure elsewhere. I also don’t care if the show is scripted or reality based – either way it’s just as bad. As a black woman who struggles to shake the myriad of negative stereotypes about us, this show certainly does no favors in that regard. Let’s also be clear that I feel the same about Shaunie O’Neil of Basketball Wives. Both women do none of us any favors as it relates to promoting positive images of women in the media. Girl power is great and I’m all for it but not at the expense the same women you claim to empower. Nope, not buying it!
What are your thoughts? Have you fallen into the trap of watching this train wreck?