You need a real woman in your life
That’s a good look
Taking care, home is still fly
That’s a good look
I’ma help you build up your account
Thats a good look
Better yet a hood look
Ladies that’s a good look
When you’re in them big meetings for the mills
Thats a good look
It take me just to compliment the deal
Thats a good look
Anything you cop I’ll split the bill
Thats a good look
Better yet a hood look
Believe me

Ladies that’s a good look

Beyonce-”Let Me Upgrade You”

The truth is, an adult woman upgrading an equally adult man is not a good look.  Beyonce didn’t upgrade Jay Z and you shouldn’t either.

I came across this post tonight over at Carolyn Nedgar’s site Upgrade Him? Girl, No. And, as I kept reading I found myself nodding in agreement with her eventual declaration that women should be smarter around men with “under construction” signs on their foreheads.

How many times have we chatted up one of our more successful friends who marries or gets with a man who lets just say isn’t in her financial league only to have the relationship end up in heartbreak and regret?  **raises hand**  More times than I care to divulge!  I am not saying that these kids of relationships can NEVER work, what I am saying is women should be cautious.   If you meet someone like this, let him work himself to his final destination without relying on you for financial help.  That moving him into your apartment, paying his bills/child support is a no go.

Red flags for one of these “under construction” men?  Carolyn, lists them in the post so I don’t even have to dig deep:

The men were never just the construction workers, secretaries, mailroom guys, etc. they appeared to be.  Inevitably, he was “going back to school.” In the rare cases where he wasn’t going back to school, he was starting a business.  Or he was a producer – for artists no one had ever heard of.

o_O

Now again, I will say there is nothing inherently wrong with a man who is at this stage in life, but I am a huge proponent of letting a man prove himself before bringing him on as a dependent in my house.  And, if he is established or on his way, legitimately, then that isn’t even a consideration.

Repeat after me the 11th Commandment

11. Thou shalt not support a man with an under construction sign on his forehead

Let’s add 12 for good measure….

12.  Thou shalt not lend a man whom you are not married to money or your car to drive around in your absence.

What do you think?  Is Carolyn right?  Or should women take chances on men who don’t have their stuff together?