Last week I was talking to my mom about my latest visit to my GYN, the cost of IVF and other maternity health related banter.

I’ve blogged about both of our families asking intrusive questions and seemingly never really understanding that this is something we wanted to do on our own time.  After all, this is an important decision, a life changing one and I wanted to make sure that I was ready.  I wanted to get to a point where I craved being a mom and when we just got married, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be a mom.

But now Im ready.  Why?  I would rather have a our kids born to the grounded and self-assured 30 something me than the insecure 20 something version of myself.

My Choice.  I Run My Life.

Having several friends who either rushed into having kids or had children unexpectedly, I learned quickly that I didn’t want to be forced into having to tailor my life around a child.  I wanted to plan the whole thing and soak it up rather than becoming resentful about a process that was forced on me due to hifalutin social timelines and family expectations.  And knowing me, I would be resentful, I own and accept that about myself and resisted the temptation to cave in and have kids before we were ready.

Career Before Baby

The husband and I agreed that I would be solid in my career before settling down to have children.  This was important to me since I don’t know where my career will be once we have children.  While my husband knows that I love him to pieces, should he ever decide this union is something he no longer wants, I need to be able to make a living.  Thus, I was not going to have a child prior to my career being on solid ground.

Maternity Chip

As I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t sure I wanted children unbeknownst to my husband during the early beginnings of our marriage.  I wasn’t even sure that I knew this looking back on those days, just sort of figured it would happen when it did.  As the months and years went on I went through some serious self examination about motherhood, my expectations and what it would mean for me.  Once I became peace with those barriers then I started to warm up to the idea of being someone’s mother  I work with children in my day job and it has been and continues to be the most enriching experience of my life!  I enjoy them in a way that has blessed me and increased my desire to be a mom.

My GYN even made sure to sit down and answer alllll of my questions related to the process which really eased my tension.  You know how docs tend to rush through the visit right?   Well, he didn’t and tends to think that I am overly worried about our chances given my relatively younger age and good health compared to women who are in their mid to late 40s.

Of major concerns were the women on fertility boards who discuss going through multiple cycles and I thought I would be in the same boat.  He reassured me this would not be the case and that he expects us to go through 1 IVF cycle in order to conceive!  I don’t know exactly when we will get started with the IVF process, hubby travels extensively right now and that needs to settle down before we get started.

So yea, I’m ready and no longer wince around thinking about pregnancy and child birth!   It’s taken me some time to really get to this point but I’ve enjoyed the journey and ready to get started!