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Journey To Motherhood: How Did You Know You Were Ready To Become A Mother?

http://blogs.iwcc.edu/tolivealife/files/2009/01/mother-and-child-1a.jpg

How did you know you were ready to become a mom?  Did something just switch on?  I’ll be honest and say I don’t know that I was ready to be “wife” until 1.5 years into our marriage.  The intent was there but to really step into it?  Only happened recently LOL  And I’m ok with that, we all live, love and grow.

Did you plan everything around your pregnancy?  Anything?  Timing?

Was your pregnancy something you looked forward to?

You all know I am trying to plan this thing down to the second I go into labor and even then I’m asking the OGBYN to have an Epidural ready as soon as I get wheeled into Labor and Delivery!  LOL  *prick*  *euphoria*

So how did you know you were ready to become a mom and was it something you’d always looked forward to?

I question how ready i am emotionally to become a mom.  Everything seems to be in place-husband, marriage, house, finished with grad school and so the next logical phase seems to be motherhood.  But Im just not quite there yet as I still have some things to get out of my system.  I feel some sorta way for not following the prescribed social time line but I’m moving through it.

Since my last post about our time line it has since changed.  We’ve now decided to just wait to see the outcome of my application to the doctoral program and then take it from there.

There’s also the physical and emotional demands of being a mother that Im kinda not sure I’m ready to take on.  Right now I enjoy being able to leave on a moment’s notice for a getaway weekend or not have to worry about dropping baby weight.  I’m not there yet where Ive come to accept those sacrifices as part of my life.  And, you know while Im OK with it, I still feel some sorta way.

Why?

Well, I feel like my friends and family accept these changes and well uhmm I dont.  I am very much a planner with regards to every aspect of my life.  I have to know who, when, where why and how and I think having a child brings along with it a certain level of unpredictability that I am not ready for at this stage in my life.

So how did you know you were ready?  Please tell me there’s a switch some where?

  • Flor

    Ugh good question!, I am 35 and I feel I am not ready. I feel overwhelmed with the idea of having a baby…from emotional, financially, security, physically, etc. My family keeps telling me the clock is clicking,but my answer is that I am not ready. Then they think it is funny because I am going to be 36. Anyway…my input to this post is that it ok to be not ready…only you know when you will be.

  • Lovely

    Wow, u ladies making me think. But ultimatley, we may plan our lifes but God has the final authority over our lives.

  • Sandy

    Who the fuck knows? Sometimes I think i am and I know better. I want my space and time but my biology wants to reproduce. To me it is a conflict between me and nature. Animal v intellectual instincts.

  • http://aaronicaunlocked.com ladebelle

    u know, i don't know if these decisions are really up to us. what makes me say this right?

    well, i thought i was ready to be a wife so i got married only to get divorced. i thought that i wasn't ready for motherhood only to end up pregnant after i was told i probably wouldn't be able to conceive and while using condoms.

    as cliche as this sounds, i really think that a lot of this "readiness" has to do with God's plan for us. i would have never imagined being 26, divorced, single, and pregnant but that's where i am and i wouldn't change anything in the world.

    am i ready? sometimes i don't think so but God wouldn't give me something i couldn't handle…

  • katie

    My rule: 6 months of YES from me and my partner. it hasn't happened yet.

  • http://www.sweetmommyescapes.blogspot.com Crystal

    As far as getting the Epidural during labor, be careful to wait as long as you can…if you get one too early your labor will stall and then you'll join the 30% of women who end up with a c-section, which is as painful as having a body part amputated. I personally used a Midwife and planned an out-of-hospital natural birth, but my baby's heart-rate plummeted 7hrs in and so I ended up transferring to a hospital and having a surgical delivery. The contractions weren't all that painful, but the C-section was the WORST pain of my life!! So many women are scared of labor when there is nothing to fear, and they end up requesting all sorts of interventions which then lead to C-section, and THAT is the pain to be scared of. Childbirth is a piece of cake compared to MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY.

  • http://www.sweetmommyescapes.blogspot.com Crystal

    I have to break up my post, it was too long. :-(

    Anyway, spontenaity is over-rated, and how many times have you ACTUALLY decided on Friday to get-away for the weekend and just jet-off somewhere, and then actually did that? Even with a baby it's not like you can't travel at the drop of a hat. My husband was set to attend a conference in Las Vegas last Fall, and at the last minute I decided to join him with the baby, and you know what–I did it and had no problem! Babies travel FREE on your lap and so just grab their diapers & some outfits, and GO! (Btw, I breastfeed my son, so that makes it easy because I AM THE BOTTLE, no preparations needed). As far as "baby weight", when you breastfeed the weight just drops off, and it only took me 2wks to drop all the weight (20lbs) that I'd gained.

  • http://www.sweetmommyescapes.blogspot.com Crystal

    Go for it and don't look back! My husband & I just welcomed our 1st baby last year, after 8 yrs of marriage, and I guess it was when I turned aged 30 that the "switch came on" and I felt ready. I mean, what else could add meaning to life? I spent my twenties completely free to do whatever, I traveled to 20+ countries and lived in Chicago/Houston/Washington D.C., and so I was completely ready to give up some "freedoms" to journey into motherhood.

  • Kym

    Not sure. I’ve been ready to be a wife and mother for years, but I haven’t found the right man yet. It’s starting to look like I never will.

    Oh well.

  • http://www.foodgoat.com ladygoat

    I'm not sure if anyone ever feels completely ready. I thought I felt ready and the moment I learned I was pregnant I had a couple of days of total panic. But sometimes I still surprise myself at how I'm able to handle some things that before, I wouldn't have been sure that I could.

  • http://www.yieldingwealth.com Miranad

    My husband and I just sort of had one. I love my son, and am glad to have him. However, we don't really feel as though we are ready for a second baby. I don't think that there is a switch. And it is hard. You do sometimes want to be able to just pack up and be gone. But part of having children is setting aside some of those desires. Having children is a sacrifice, and if you are not comfortable making the sacrifice, and if you think that the compensations of having children aren't going to be worth it, maybe it's a good idea to wait.

  • Lola

    Hi. I don't think there are switches. Me and my husband have been together for 7 years before deciding we wanted kids. It was more of a realization than a decision. Before having my baby girl i thought the same as you, the baby will come when the other things will be finished but i was so wrong. Having a baby is totally something else. It can not be compared to finishing graduating, having a better job etc. It is not something to put on a sort of to do list. The only thing which was important to me was to have a healthy loving relationship with my husband. He is very helpful and I trust him with my daughter more than anyone. There are parenting challenges, decision to be made the benefits of which are expanded when the decision is mutual. One example. My mother in law wanted us to rock the baby all the time. She was so calm as a baby that rocking just made her cry. It was very easy for me to put up with her remarks all the time knowing that we both had decided to do everything for the baby to be OK as she wanted and not as the general idea of OK is. The same goes for pacifiers , for giving her fruit juice (i give her fresh fruits and NEVER store bought) or pretty much everything.

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