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Do I Stay or Go? One Woman’s Struggle To Step Out On Her Own (Video)

woman-divorce

How likely are you to leave a bad marriage if you have no education or poor career prospects? I realize there may be other factors such as children, years put into the marriage and each party’s willingness to work things out.

But let’s put that aside for the moment.

I have always always said that I wouldn’t want a lack of education or financial viability without my husband to stop me from leaving should things go sour.  While I value the sanctity of marriage, my sanity comes above all else and if it’s bad, I have to go.  God forbid I ever get to a point where I want out, I don’t want my future to be dependent on a random divorce settlement arbitrarily determined by a judge.

If you’ve been keeping up with me on Twitter, then you know I watched the movie This Christmas at least 3 times this weekend LOL  I had no idea it was that good!  But a few scenes caught my eye and I immediately thought of this post because this is a message I want to drive home to women.  Do not let your lack of career prospects or financial viability without your husband stop you from leaving a bad situation.  If this is the case then get in a position where you have options.  This also happens to be the central message of this blog, teaching women how to take charge of their finances so they are able to make decisions not bound by  financial limitations.

Please dont stay in a bad situation because you feel that you can’t make it on your own.

But I realize there are women who feel this way and I’d like to hear from you.  If you are or were in this situation, what drives your decision outside of love and children to stay?  We are having a discussion about this on Twitter so feel free to jump in:

How likely are you to leave a bad marriage if you have no education or poor career prospects? (Read from the bottom up)

Bev Davis
sundaycosmetics @gingerlatte@adonyaWong I have 0 tolerance for anyone who “assumes” I won’t make it. Oh NO The devil is a liar. Feel a sermon comin’ 13 minutes ago from web in reply to Gingerlatte
Bev Davis
sundaycosmetics @Gingerlatte @AdonyaWong That’s right! I learned to pray and STEP real quick. As an entrepreneur/person – I BLOCK the negativity 16 minutes ago from web in reply to Gingerlatte
Adonya Wong
AdonyaWong @gingerlatte I have friends who stay in unhealthy spots because they think they can’t do any better. Me? Scared or not, I wouldn’t stay. 25 minutes ago from TweetDeck in reply to Gingerlatte
Tawnya Jonsek
tjonsek @gingerlatte i think it does make a diff. espec if they haven’t had a job in awhile. could be terrifying. 32 minutes ago from TweetDeck in reply to Gingerlatte
glennette
glennette @Gingerlatte Chances r slim 2 none, unless spouse is physical. 33 minutes ago from TweetDeck in reply to Gingerlatte
Tawnya Jonsek
tjonsek @gingerlatte yep. i remember at 1st before education & good job I was married & 2 scared 2 leave. thought i couldn’t take care of myself. 35 minutes ago from TweetDeck in reply to Gingerlatte
Adonya Wong
AdonyaWong @Gingerlatte I’ll take the leap of faith for a thousand, Alex! :-) Staying in a crappy marriage/relationship is not an option. 35 minutes ago from web in reply to Gingerlatte

Question?  What advice do you have for women in this predicament?

Check the video. Disclaimer: By the way I do not advocate violence or destruction of property. But it is rather funny! LOL This is for all the Jazmine Sullivans out there:

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  • Wilson

    she needs to leave now. control is right before physical abuse. she needs to start building a life for herself and her child. she should apply to college and seek a school that has family housing.

  • Kat

    CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS POST…………….He controls the money so I can not save to get out and he doesn't want our daughter in daycare either. He wants me here. I want to pursue a career. My life seems like a never ending cycle. I see and talk to friends and they have these great careers and lives. I do not love him anymore. It has gotten so bad that I sleep under a seperate comforter at night. This is just because if I were to ever tell him my feelings I would be thrown out into the street. I have no family to rely on and I never had. Can anyone give me advice on how I can entire the workforce again with today's economy considering I only have a high school education…and possibly be able to go back to school. I just wanna be happy and in love someday!!!! Thanks in advance, Kat

  • Kat

    I'm not in an abusive relationship, but it is verbal and getting worse. I graduated from high school in 1998. I worked until 2002 in administrative/clerical work. I met my boyfriend/fiance' and then i had my daughter in 2007. I have stayed at home and we traveled with his job. Things are sooo different now. I went back to school online and had to quit because he said I couldn't take care of our child and go to school. Now I have almost $2000.00 I have to pay back. The land and home is in his name, but we acquired them both while we were together and even after our daughter's birth.

  • Lonely and lost

    Ok I know that getting out is deffinatlly a yes! But the rpoblem for womaen like me is when we have no way of getting any kind of income to save because everything you do is dependent on your husband and he controls everything. Wanting to walk out with your children and have it be easy is a dream, i cannot take them to a shelter with me because then i get accused of not providing good for them, it's already hapened once. I cannot leav them with him for a while either because first i would never abandon my kids ever! 2nd he doesn't even know a thing about taking care of them and 3rd thy are old enough that they both beg me never to leave without them, they ahte their father, sad to say but true. he is not physically abusive in anyway, he is mentally abusive and controls all i do. So my question is where do i turn now? How do i get out with no income or any way of getting any??

  • http://nomoresugardaddies.wordpress.com/ NoMoreSugarDaddies

    Staying in bad relationship was not an option for me. Though I depnded on him financially for the last year i made sure to SAVE every penny that didn't go towards my bills and set up a "freedom fund" savings account online. When the time came I had more than enough money to get out without having to wonder where I would go or how I would eat.

  • http://tanyetta.com tanyetta

    The bathroom scene was HILARIOUS!!! I've never heard of that movie. Maybe I need to check it out. Very interesting. I want to see what led up to all of that VIOLENCE ;)

    As far as starting over, I am a very resourceful woman, if faced with the choice, I know for sure I could make it. Hopefully I'll never be faced with this choice. I got married once for a reason.