6 Ways Money May Be Ruining Your Marriage

marriage money problem
marriage money problem

No money, no honey! This is the chant of many divorcing couples today as you may be familiar with the fact that money troubles break many a marriage apart. So it's no surprise that financial conflict and communication issues are up there on the list of marriage busters.  Let's take a look at why the almighty Benjamin might be ruining your marriage. You haven’t set any boundaries or guidelines, yet Your relationship is defined mutually by you and your partner. You both need to make sure that you’re comfortable with the guidelines you set. That means striking a compromise that won’t end up building resentment in the long run. Set a time when you can sit together to write down your specific financial goals, and work out your plan.   This might include lending money to … [Read more...]

Should A Married Woman Have A Secret Stash Of Cash?

stash cash women
stash cash women

I haz a secret! I love Power. But not the power you're thinking of.  No, then again, I like that too! But no I'm talking about the Starz drama, Power. Here's the lowdown on the show: It appears James "Ghost" St. Patrick has it all -- a drop-dead gorgeous wife, a stunning Manhattan penthouse, and the power and success that come with owning hot new nightclub Truth. But a closer look reveals a man living a double life. When Ghost isn't tending to his Fortune 500 business, he's catering to clients of another operation: a drug empire that serves only the rich and influential. While loyal sidekick Tommy protects the cash-cow narcotics venture at all costs, Ghost's new reality is using Truth as more than a front to launder money. It's a way out of the drug game and into a … [Read more...]

3 Ways To Avoid Wrecking Your Second Marriage (#3 is so me)

woman-divorce
woman-divorce

Money is hot button topic for a variety of reasons.  And personally, being divorced and contemplating a second dance down the aisle used to be daunting. Once divorced, there's a measure of control that you regain - and it feels good!  Because when you're going through tough times, there's the sense that you no longer have control and it is down right scary.  By no means am I a control freak, but I am rather structured and I like order. To that end, I think it's important to have an open and honest discussion about everything that could be a potential issue in your relationship. The stuff that causes you to recoil and pull back?  Yep - that stuff. For example, when my ex would lend money to friends without telling me - that would irritate me to no end because he would take money … [Read more...]

Should You Dump The Boo Bustin Up Your Bottom Line?

marriage money problem
marriage money problem

At some point or another we've all made decisions about money with the best of intentions but perhaps the outcome wasn't that great. Maxed out credit cards. Judgements.  Collections.  Overspending. Is that you? If it is, how is it affecting your relationship?  Are you still making decisions that hurts your relationship financially more than it helps? Now, I'm ready for the blowback telling me that love conquers all but honey,  let it go! The #1 reason for divorce cites money issues as the reason.  So for that reason alone, it's really important that you consider how your actions may be affecting the relationship. Now, this is different than having a checkered financial past and then working to make the necessary changes. I'm talking to the woman that shops too much, … [Read more...]

Can Your Marriage Survive Your Spouse’s Bad Credit?

moneymarriage
moneymarriage

When Sally, a nurse practitioner, decided to marry her long time beau, many of her friends warned her about possible credit problems in the future. Her fiance, Larry, was the owner of a small, two-man auto repair shop. While he made an excellent income, a previous divorce had ruined his credit. Many of their mutual friends felt that Larry’s poor credit would drag down Sally’s previously outstanding relationship with creditors. Although many persons believe that getting married means that your respective credit histories are merged, it’s not true. Credit records which are established prior to the nuptials are never shared, inherited or combined. Marriage doesn’t affect your credit score if you take your spouse’s last name. Everyone has their own credit report and scores, even if they live … [Read more...]

If You Want Your Second Marriage To Last Don’t Do This

facts-about-divorce-1026181155-jul-24-2012-600x398
facts-about-divorce-1026181155-jul-24-2012-600x398

Merging two styles of money management styles won’t happen just because two people love each other. It’s about money.  It has to be worked on as the years go by as every day there are a dozen of small decisions. There will be times for significant decisions such as savings and investments, tax planning, insurance and other matters. Divvying up the responsibility for the decisions that make up the countless small money matters isn’t easy for a one-income family. In a two-income family it’s harder.  And if that two-income family is also a second marriage, there can be particular money management problems including child support, alimony or budgeting for  visits by children from that previous marriage. Dividing the Dollars Even though there are only two types of accounts — single and joint … [Read more...]

Women Make Good Family Decisions But We Suck At This

women-job
women-job

Do you work hard for your money but always end up broke at the end of the month?  Do you feel like you're doing all the right things financially but your earnings don't don't seem enough? Do you end up making the same money mistakes over and over? If you answered YES to any of the above, you're not alone. For a while, I hated the few days before payday. That's when I saw the bitter results of letting my emotions get the best of my fiscal common sense. Again and again, I let my relationships and emotions override my better judgment.   I finally clawed my way out of debt when I learned to recognize the following common personal finance mistakes women make. Hello, I made some of them too!   You can get out of your personal debt ditch too. Just be aware of these mistakes, learn to … [Read more...]

There Are No Discounts In Dating: Stop Accepting Cheap Dates!

cheap man counting pennies
cheap man counting pennies

Everyone loves a deal.  Deals and coupons give us discounts which stretch our food, travel and entertainment dollars. Some of us clip coupons as if our lives depended on it.  And that's fine.  We work hard.  We save hard.  Play hard. However, if you're not a coupon, for heaven's sake, stop giving discounts. I'm not referring to the daily deals we collect online or in newspapers.  No ma'am. Today I'm calling out the women who allow men to take them on cheap dates and the men who love them.  Because everyone loves a deal. Here are my disclaimers: I am not addressing women who date for free meals and to avoid feeling lonely.  Y'all can have a seat. I am also not addressing gold diggers. I am also not addressing the men who date in hopes of sex later on that night. We … [Read more...]

Why I Can’t I Leave My Abusive Relationship?

woman-divorce3
woman-divorce3

Have you ever wondered by some women stay in abusive relationships?  You may be thinking "I'd never stay with a physically abusive partner!  I'd leave his @$$ for sure!" Think twice about that because the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is the moment the woman tries to leave.  Once she becomes entangled with an abuser, it's hard to leave because she may fear for her life or for the lives of her children. Even worse, if the partner maintains financial control and she is without resources then that makes it even more difficult to leave. On the outside, many of us as "why does she stay?"  When Janay Palmer stood by her husband Ray Rice after he knocked her out in an elevator - I asked the same question myself.  There are myriads of reasons why women stay. During the … [Read more...]

You’re Engaged, Now What?

engagement-ring
engagement-ring

A wedding is a milestone that will be filled with cherished memories as you start your future together. You’ve started looking at dates, venues, dresses and you’re the proud owner of a beautiful diamond engagement ring. Now what? Your wedding bands and engagement rings symbolize your love and commitment, and will continue to be important pieces throughout your lifetime, and you’ll want to know how to take proper care of them. Here are a few jewelry tips from Jewelers Mutual Insurance Company, the nation’s leading jewelry insurance specialists since 1913, on how to take care of your engagement ring and wedding bands: Get checkups. At least once a year, take your jewelry to your trusted jeweler for an inspection and cleaning. They’ll check for loose settings, worn prongs and other … [Read more...]

If You Run a Business Together, What Happens When You Divorce?

bad-credit-after-divorce
bad-credit-after-divorce

What happens when mom and pop get a divorce but neither one wants to leave the shop? A 2007 Census Bureau report said that roughly 3.7 million businesses are owned by a husband and wife team. With thedivorce rate at a staggering 50 percent, the situation is far more common than many people realize. With some planning, a couple who once promised “until death do us part,” may be able to continue the family business. Too often entrepreneurs are so busy getting their businesses off the ground that they don’t think about what might happen if one of the founders gets divorced. The problems are magnified if the businesses’ co-founders divorce each other. For family-owned businesses, run by married couples, a poorly dealt with divorce can mean bankruptcy court is in the future. Create an … [Read more...]

First Comes Divorce Then Comes Bankruptcy – Or Should It?

facts-about-divorce-1026181155-jul-24-2012-600x398
facts-about-divorce-1026181155-jul-24-2012-600x398

Often, finances are the biggest stressors in relationships. Frequently, couples caught up in financial problems believe that divorce is the answer to their problem and each partner blames the other for the ongoing money woes. The belief that the other person is responsible, may, or may not, be true. A good adage to remember though is: you can divorce your partner, but you can’t divorce your debts; at least the ones you entered into jointly.?? Normally divorce should take a backseat to bankruptcy. If you wait to file bankruptcy in the middle of a divorce, the disbursement of property may delay the divorce settlement. Since bankruptcy deals with debts connected to an individual’s name or social security number, there isn’t an easy way to do both simultaneously and can impact the manner … [Read more...]

Contemplating Divorce? I Hope You Don’t Live Here

bad-credit-after-divorce
bad-credit-after-divorce

If you're thinking about filing for divorce, I hope you don't live in one of the following states. Divorce is never a pleasant experience, even under the most amicable of circumstances.   In the antagonistic structure of divorce court, there is always a winner and a loser.   Ask 20 people which states are the worst ones in which to get a divorce and you’ll probably end up with twenty different answers. Open any media website and the first thing that is apt to be seen is a “Top 10” list of places to live, eat, breathe, sleep, vacation, study or, well, pick almost any subject. The only thing each of the lists has in common is they are just someone’s opinion. What may be the best dog walking park in New York City to one person, may be the armpit of canine playgrounds for someone … [Read more...]

Broken Promises and Bank Accounts Part 2: Redemption

woman_rising
woman_rising

Here's part 2 of Susan's journey to regain her sanity and credit after she finds out that her fiance racked up thousands in credit card debt -  in her name. I have some questions for Susan in quotes but maybe readers can share some insights as well.   I couldn’t believe it; I had become a deplorable statistic. I was now “one of those” inferior, inadequate people who made the pathetic resolution to gulp… declare bankruptcy. Why weren't you able to tell the credit card companies that you were a victim of identity theft since he used the cards and obtained the credit without your permission or knowledge? The day of my hearing, diamond studs adorned my ears and a Raymond Weil watch garnished my bony wrist. (By this time, I was short one very expensive rock.) My petite one-hundred- … [Read more...]

Broken Promises and Bank Accounts Part 1

crying woman
crying woman

What do I have in common with Sandra Bullock, Elin Nordegren and Anne Hathaway? All four of us were duped by our significant others, completely unaware of their “secret lives”. When I learned of Michael’s emotional and financial deception, I felt like biggest chump in the world. I was angry at him and furious at myself for being so naïve and gullible. Talk about a bad day. Five years ago, I ended my relationship with my fiancé, kicking him out of my New York City Upper West Side one-bedroom apartment, after realizing (finally!) that his relationship with cocaine would always take precedence over the one he had with me. We were two dueling mistresses caught in an emotional, hard-fought battle for his affection and devotion. Eventually, the powerful, tantalizing white powder proved … [Read more...]