Given that many around us are experiencing financial hardships, it’s not uncommon that a romantic partner would ask to borrow money.  Today’s issue centers on whether or not you should lend or borrow money from a significant other.

This can be tempting but before reach for your wallet, take these tips into consideration:

Decide:  Should You Lend? 

Is this a necessity or a luxury?  Listen to the reasons as to why your partner wants the money and determine should you be the one to lend it.  A good rule of thumb is if the bank won’t lend them money then I surely don’t have it to give.  After all, you don’t want to be known as the Bank of Jane for future loan requests.  No ma’am!

Can you trust them to repay the loan?

Is this person generally a financially responsible person?  If so, then that is a plus in their favor but you should also look at why they need the money from you if they are usually a financially responsible person.

If You Decide To Lend

Be clear that this is a loan and not a gift.  Sometimes during the course of discussing this issue,

Lend an amount that you can afford to lose.  Life happens, relationships fall apart and it’s better for you to lend with a cheerful heart than with a resentful one.  This way if the money isn’t paid back then you won’t be out an amount you couldn’t afford to lose

Get it in writing.

If you watch any judge shows then you know where this is headed.  Get it in writing!  The money should not leave your account or hands until the person has signed a promissory note stating when and how much then will pay back the loan.  If you are uncomfortable doing this then you reconsider lending the money.

The note to repay should include:

  • Date of the loan
  • Date the loan should be paid off
  • # of payments
  • Payment amount
  • Late fees-if any
  • Signature for both parties: lender and borrower
  • Statement of borrower declaring that they are borrowing said amount and will repay according to the terms outlined in note

Here’s an example of a promissory note:


If You Decide Not To Lend

Have a conversation.  Be direct and to the point without giving too many details.  Money is a touchy subject and deciding not to lend money to a partner can possibly leave hurt feelings.  A simple, “sorry I don’t have it” should suffice.