Comments on: Having It All: Man, Child, Dog And The Picket Fence! Part 1 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/ Breaking Financial Ceilings One Stiletto At A Time! Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:03:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Traci L http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-8733 Traci L Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:43:04 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-8733 I have held this conversation many times over with friends who hold prominent positions in corporate America (a partner for one of the big four accounting firms, mother of two; a neonatologist, mother of one; a director, mother of one). I started the conversation out of sadness for not continuing along with my friends, pursuing a graduate degree in the early 90s and a career. I chose to be a stay-at-home. Most people voiced their opinions out loud by informing me that allowed a quality UC Berkeley degree to go to waste. This didn't phase me, but now that I'm turning 40 this month, I wonder if I will ever be able to have a career. And so, long story short, I'm going to tell you what each of my friends told me: "Although I hate missing out on those special moments in my child's life, I love my career and I have no intentions of giving up what I worked so hard to obtain career wise. A woman is going to have to sacrifice herself or her children." I guess I chose to sacrifice myself. I have held this conversation many times over with friends who hold prominent positions in corporate America (a partner for one of the big four accounting firms, mother of two; a neonatologist, mother of one; a director, mother of one). I started the conversation out of sadness for not continuing along with my friends, pursuing a graduate degree in the early 90s and a career. I chose to be a stay-at-home. Most people voiced their opinions out loud by informing me that allowed a quality UC Berkeley degree to go to waste. This didn't phase me, but now that I'm turning 40 this month, I wonder if I will ever be able to have a career. And so, long story short, I'm going to tell you what each of my friends told me: "Although I hate missing out on those special moments in my child's life, I love my career and I have no intentions of giving up what I worked so hard to obtain career wise. A woman is going to have to sacrifice herself or her children." I guess I chose to sacrifice myself.

]]> By: Sonja http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-8730 Sonja Sun, 04 Jul 2010 17:37:38 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-8730 I DID give it all up when I had my daughter Emma. It was a difficult decision and we made many sacrifices so I could stay home with her. I have found, four years later, that it was the right thing to do. Though our lifestyle may not seem exciting to some, I have never been happier. Letting go of the 'harness of success' has been so rewarding for my heart. My career defined me for so long and I worked myself to pieces striving for the status and accomplishments I had always dreamed of. I was always stressed out and losing sleep over issues that, in grand scheme of things, really do not matter. I am happier now, than I EVER had been before. I am back in the workforce, because I did not do well with staying at home (I became isolated and lonely) but the job I have now is fun, low-stress and has good benefits. Sometimes the competitor in me looks back and wonders...what if?? But then I see my daughter's precious face and I know we have an amazing bond and I am happy that I unlocked the secret to happiness for ME. I am now free to not only be a mom, but to chase the dreams that had been silenced by Ms. Career Girl. The years when you have little ones are fleeting and you realize that having children is not the end of your life, but a new beginning. As they get older, more independent and enter the school system, you can focus more on yourself again. Healthy boundaries at work AND at home are KEY. Never let your children or your career define who you are. People will always want to put you in a nice, neat little box, but you can kick those stereotypes to the curb and create your OWN blend of success...whatever that happens to mean to you. I DID give it all up when I had my daughter Emma. It was a difficult decision and we made many sacrifices so I could stay home with her.
I have found, four years later, that it was the right thing to do.
Though our lifestyle may not seem exciting to some, I have never been happier. Letting go of the 'harness of success' has been so rewarding for my heart.
My career defined me for so long and I worked myself to pieces striving for the status and accomplishments I had always dreamed of. I was always stressed out and losing sleep over issues that, in grand scheme of things, really do not matter.
I am happier now, than I EVER had been before. I am back in the workforce, because I did not do well with staying at home (I became isolated and lonely) but the job I have now is fun, low-stress and has good benefits. Sometimes the competitor in me looks back and wonders…what if?? But then I see my daughter's precious face and I know we have an amazing bond and I am happy that I unlocked the secret to happiness for ME.
I am now free to not only be a mom, but to chase the dreams that had been silenced by Ms. Career Girl.
The years when you have little ones are fleeting and you realize that having children is not the end of your life, but a new beginning. As they get older, more independent and enter the school system, you can focus more on yourself again. Healthy boundaries at work AND at home are KEY.

Never let your children or your career define who you are. People will always want to put you in a nice, neat little box, but you can kick those stereotypes to the curb and create your OWN blend of success…whatever that happens to mean to you.

]]> By: Gingerlatte http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-7943 Gingerlatte Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:26:04 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-7943 Test reply from email Test reply from email

]]> By: GinGin http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-7942 GinGin Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:25:04 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-7942 This is a test 2 This is a test 2

]]> By: Gingerlatte http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-7941 Gingerlatte Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:23:23 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-7941 This is a Test This is a Test

]]> By: about finance career http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-4283 about finance career Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:12:38 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-4283 <strong>about finance career...</strong> Your topic Capella University MBA in Finance | Online Degrees Today.com 2.0 was interesting when I found it on Friday searching for about finance career... about finance career…

Your topic Capella University MBA in Finance | Online Degrees Today.com 2.0 was interesting when I found it on Friday searching for about finance career…

]]> By: Having it all? « Musings of an Aberrant Aucklander http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-3319 Having it all? « Musings of an Aberrant Aucklander Fri, 12 Jun 2009 07:41:57 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-3319 [...] it all? 12 06 2009 Inspired by this post at Girls Just Wanna Have Funds – can women do it all? Or is just a [...] [...] it all? 12 06 2009 Inspired by this post at Girls Just Wanna Have Funds – can women do it all? Or is just a [...]

]]> By: TheFeministBreeder http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-3308 TheFeministBreeder Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:58:35 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-3308 Fo Shiz. Fo Shiz.

]]> By: Gingerlatte http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-3303 Gingerlatte Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:25:08 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-3303 I could stand to learn alot from you woman! We've gotta talk offline soon. I could stand to learn alot from you woman! We've gotta talk offline soon.

]]> By: TheFeministBreeder http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/2009/06/having-it-all-man-child-dog-and-the-picket-fence-part-1/comment-page-1/#comment-3301 TheFeministBreeder Mon, 08 Jun 2009 21:24:58 +0000 http://www.girlsjustwannahavefunds.com/?p=1447#comment-3301 Here's what I can tell you: You have NO idea how motherhood will change you until you're there. Anyone who tries to tell you what it's going to be like, for you specifically, is projecting. It does change you though, there is no doubt about that. Some women who thought they'd have the baby and go straight back to work find out that they couldn't stand the thought of leaving their baby's side. Then there are mothers who assume they're going to be SAHM's from the beginning, only to get there and realize staying home is not for them at all. Then there are moms (like me) who find whole new careers from becoming a mother (I now know that my law degree will be in Health Law & Policy, and I'll work to advocate for patient's rights in birthing and breastfeeding.) Becoming a mother changes your brain chemistry, but there's no way to know exactly how until you're there. But here's what I can tell you - no (sane) person ever regretted having their child. My first was big 'ol accident, but He's the love of my life now (along with my second son.) Here's what I can tell you: You have NO idea how motherhood will change you until you're there. Anyone who tries to tell you what it's going to be like, for you specifically, is projecting. It does change you though, there is no doubt about that. Some women who thought they'd have the baby and go straight back to work find out that they couldn't stand the thought of leaving their baby's side. Then there are mothers who assume they're going to be SAHM's from the beginning, only to get there and realize staying home is not for them at all. Then there are moms (like me) who find whole new careers from becoming a mother (I now know that my law degree will be in Health Law & Policy, and I'll work to advocate for patient's rights in birthing and breastfeeding.)

Becoming a mother changes your brain chemistry, but there's no way to know exactly how until you're there. But here's what I can tell you – no (sane) person ever regretted having their child. My first was big 'ol accident, but He's the love of my life now (along with my second son.)

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