Having It All: Man, Child, Dog And The Picket Fence! Part 1
How many times have we thought about this? Self imposed (sometimes socially) time lines on motherhood, career, education and marriage?
I’ve always believed that women can have it all. Still do, just in staggered moderation. Lately, I have to admit though, going through my own struggles with this as I want it all and pretty determined t get it.
What does having it all mean to you? Do you have it? Are you content with where you are now in life?
To answer my own questions, I am for the most part content with my life as I’m in a pretty good place. I admit to being a career driven woman who has her sights set on high, knowing that I can’t fail. It’s a pretty strong drive right now and I just need to get certain things out of my system. This of course, is the source of my indecision around starting a family. Part of it has to do with my own issues around becoming a mother, the identity shift and timing ie becoming resentful around giving up my peak earning potential to have a baby.
Having it all in my world means a change in all of the above:
- Giving up on old childhood stuff and really moving forward to becoming the mother I want to be.
- The identity shift from being career driven, foot loose and fancy free to being a mom where my sole focus might become my child. Not sure Im ready or how I’d feel about that.
- Giving up my peak earning and career potential to have a child.
It would seem that these are all things I would just have to let go huh? I’m a control freak so I’m not sure how that’ll go down LOL
But, I might be on to something…ha!
What do you think? Do you think in order to have it all I have to give up and accept the above mentioned? Do you think having it all is a myth?
Thanks for tuning into my own brand of self imposed neurosis around this issue. Parts 2 and 3 to come this week.
Here's what I can tell you: You have NO idea how motherhood will change you until you're there. Anyone who tries to tell you what it's going to be like, for you specifically, is projecting. It does change you though, there is no doubt about that. Some women who thought they'd have the baby and go straight back to work find out that they couldn't stand the thought of leaving their baby's side. Then there are mothers who assume they're going to be SAHM's from the beginning, only to get there and realize staying home is not for them at all. Then there are moms (like me) who find whole new careers from becoming a mother (I now know that my law degree will be in Health Law & Policy, and I'll work to advocate for patient's rights in birthing and breastfeeding.)
Becoming a mother changes your brain chemistry, but there's no way to know exactly how until you're there. But here's what I can tell you – no (sane) person ever regretted having their child. My first was big 'ol accident, but He's the love of my life now (along with my second son.)
I could stand to learn alot from you woman! We've gotta talk offline soon.
Fo Shiz.
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