Comments on: The Downside Of The SuperWoman Syndrome: Do Men Really Want A Strong Woman?

By: Samudra

Samudra — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:24:28 +0000

This is very interesting, I had had no idea this was going on, thanks for the tip!

By: Selen

Selen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:50:10 +0000

He's just telling the truth. What is objectionable in what he wrote? Woman themselves say that men are turned off by women who are high achievers. It's something they complain about and criticize men for. So how can you condemn him for saying what women themselves say? Are you denying that men are more attracted to women with physical assets than monetary assets or education? Maybe you also think men read Playboy magazine for the articles. You're accusing him of being intimidated by successful women. Well, duh! Isn't that exactly what women have always said about men? And haven't women also always said that men are more interested in a woman's looks than her accomplishments? So how can you criticize him for saying exactly what women are saying?

As for your insult about women who are "housewives" It might interest you to know that there are millions of women today in 2009 who are housewives and also a couple of hundred thousand men who are househusbands. They are taking care of their homes and families, and really do not deserve to be insulted by superior, holier than thou comments. Thank you.

By: Ginger

Ginger — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:19:45 +0000

"A woman's career, bankroll, job title, hours worked… none of these make a woman more attractive to a man"

Not sure what rock you decided to crawl out from underneath but whenever you want to meet my husband and have a drink sometime let me know. I have a career, educated and hold a senior position with my company, not to mention beautiful. Nonetheless, I am way more than tits, ass and a pretty face.

Just sounds like you're more intimidated by a woman who is more than the typical housewife. We're in 2009, feel free to catch up

By: Dat_Truth_Hurts

Dat_Truth_Hurts — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:47:07 +0000

Men like feminine women, not women who display male attributes. Ego has nothing to do with it, attraction does.

A woman's career, bankroll, job title, hours worked… none of these make a woman more attractive to a man. In many cases, it seems like we are dating men with female bodyparts.

We are hardwired to be attracted to fertility signals. Women are hardwired to be attracted to status, height and power. Millions of years of evolution and survival made us that way.

Of course there are random exceptions. Few and far between, but I'm sure we'll see tons of them here.

By: Kristy @ MYC

Kristy @ MYC — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:20:35 +0000

This really depends on the guy. There are many men who can't handle a strong, independent woman and the reasons vary. Some of it may be he is simply insecure in a lot of ways. But, some of it is just the values he was raised on. Our civilization was built on the foundation that man took care of woman. And, to some degree, a man may feel he is less of a man if he is not supporting the woman, or if she is making more money then he is. It is a very rare man indeed who is perfectly happy to accept a woman the way she is, and still continue to do his personal best in the workforce. The reality is that the majority of men go one of two ways, either they get upset and it causes problems in the relationship, or they turn into moochers.

I think the best thing a couple in this situation can do is talk it out. Figure out what's important to them and really consider it from each others point of view. If there is open communication, a couple can find a solution that works for their specific situation. Personally, I'm not superwoman and I don't try to be. There are things I want to achieve in my life professionally and I would hope that someone I'm with will be understanding of that. However, I don't think I should have to change my life and goals to assuage an ego. That's just me, though.

By: Sara

Sara — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:21:55 +0000

It helps us superwomen date men who are used to seeing strong women their life. Or at least see men and women who are good partners. I am a superwoman – my paycheck is larger, my potential for income long term continues to be much higher, and he would move with me and be stay at home dad if we need to move somewhere he can't get a job (like overseas) if my job allows for such opportunity when we have children. He truly isn't bothered by it at all – it has taken me several years to figure this out. I love to cook, so I am cooking at home all of the time, though he cleans up after me. We split chores we both hate, so neither is suffering alone.

By: Ginger

Ginger — Fri, 29 May 2009 11:40:15 +0000

I go back and forth about the topic of "having it all". I firmly believe that we can have it all, just not all at one time. This involves careful planning and proper introspection when it comes to romantic relationships and of course balance. I will write a follow post on Monday.

I personally believe that I have it all right now, but it's all about careful planning and introspection. My husband had to know from jump street, whether or not he could deal with my future plans and vice versa, because this is a partnership. We cant acquiesce to get into the relationship and then change once we have the brass ring. We don't have kids yet, but that will come in a few years. Then I will continue on with other educational and career pursuits. I think one issue with having it all is women thinking that you either have to do it by 30 or have it all at one time. For most it just isnt possible so we have to be honest and incorporate balance into our lives.

Now as this relates to the Superwoman Syndrome, I tend to think that while we're playing this role at work, we need to learn how to put on the lace gloves at home and leave the iron fist at the work place.

By: Ginger

Ginger — Fri, 29 May 2009 11:30:08 +0000

I do agree with you on women using the strong women term and how it can be a turn off. What I hadnt considered was the possible intent behind it. In the black community, I think women are used to men falling short and therefore walk into relationships with low expectations. So they become off putting by letting the man know off the bat: I dont need you so dont even bother trying to step up to the plate.

By: Shawanda

Shawanda — Fri, 29 May 2009 02:47:42 +0000

I don't think a lot of men fully understand what being involved with a strong, independent woman entails. Some of them will say they don't have any problem with a woman who makes more money than them, BUT I think their opinion changes once the gap between the two incomes begins to close. Or they realize that independent women, by definition, aren't reliant upon them.

Some men don't have a problem with you working hard and excelling in your career/business, but they have a problem with you not conforming with your "role" as a woman. They expect you to work, work out, cook, clean, and take care of the kids. It's too much!!! I'm not signing up for all that.

I think it's important to do what's best for you. Most women can't have it all. Unfortunately, that same assertive and unrelenting behavior that serves as the driving force behind your professional success could come across as combative in a relationship.

By: Gingerlatte

Gingerlatte — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:26:05 +0000

LOL this topic applies to all women, not just black women. And yes all
episodes are saved.