Looking To The Past In Order To UnderStand The Present: Family Finance History
This month the PF Bloggers are writing about Family Finance History in our monthly writing project.
Looking back I would say that my immediate family has been pretty responsible with money. My mom was and is an avid saver and actually bought her home with 20% down a few years ago in NYC. Yah, the responsible one 
My dad was definitely the frugal one in the bunch and never failed to sit me down in the dairy aisle explaining to me why Kraft sliced cheese wasn’t worth the extra money. I’ll never forget the day he sat me down in the aisle comparing ingredients and showing me that its all the same except for the packaging. Neat right? One of my favorite memories.
My uncle, I’m not too sure about. He does own a 2 million dollar home but has waded in and out of credit card debt and likes expensive toys. I reckon he must be able to afford it since he is currently debt free with the exception of his mortgage. I have a date to pick his brain about his latest strategy needless to say.
Now, I do have family from the country who just think money grows on trees. They don’t really want to work for it, get and education to learn how to use it or take lessons from others on how to spend it. I and other members of my family who live here in the States just get multiple phone calls asking for money at least once a month. I’ve cut off a few cousins and told them not to call me anymore after burning through a wad of cash on my last visit.
That mentality is what drives me today. I don’t want to be broke and dependent on anyone for money to survive or put food on the table. I am not sure what enables one set of kids to think differently about money when they were all raised under the same roof but my mom has a totally different approach to money and how it operates in her life than do her siblings. Much like my brother and I. Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I am motivated by money and Im thinking constantly on ho to make more of it because I want to live a life with the only limits being those I impost upon myself. My brother on the other hand is complacent with his relationship with money. Mostly because he has yet to implement the tools given to him by our parents and lil ole me!
My current relationship with money as a young twenty something is shaped mainly because of how my mother made sure to save at least 40% of her take home pay. My dad being uber frugal and knowing where his money went. I’ve seen my mom save for big ticket items and be miserly and dare I say cheap on smaller items. I’ve always admired her respect for money and never making it her master and while I have a ways to go with that, it’s taught me serious lessons about money. but my less then fortunate family drives my money mentality as well, I can’t imagine being dependent on others simply because I refuse to learn for myself. In looking at my past and family histoory with money I can clearly see how its shaped who I am financially today.
What’s your family history with money? Have you learned any important lessons?
My parents had a lot of debt when I was growing up, and I think they’re still trying to bail themselves out of some of that. It had a huge impact on my childhood – we lived in a fairly affluent suburb and I hated feeling so different from all my classmates. However, I’ve never thought to really sit down with my parents and discuss what happened so I don’t repeat the same mistakes. What a great idea! I will definitely be doing that.
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Ginger this was really insightful. I wish I could say my family was as finance conscious as yours are but they are not in the very least even with pretty please sugar on top!
Are you on good terms with your family now? Did you cut them off totally as in never speak to me again?
I never learned good money habits from my mother. She was/is horrible with money. When I try talking to her about frugality/saving/retirement she gets irritated. So I stopped. But I did let her know lovingly that I’m budgeting for ONE for my retirement so she needs to get it together.
I guess I learned good money habit by living in “what not to do” for 18 years while living at home with family. I’m very money motivated like yourself. Being financially together affords me many freedoms that I wouldn’t have if I were covered in debt. My freedom is everything to me.
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I never learned good money habits from my mother. She was/is horrible with money. When I try talking to her about frugality/saving/retirement she gets irritated. So I stopped. But I did let her know lovingly that I’m budgeting for ONE for my retirement so she needs to get it together.
I guess I learned good money habits by living in “what not to do” for 18 years while living at home with family. I’m very money motivated like yourself. Being financially together affords me many freedoms that I wouldn’t have if I were covered in debt. My freedom is everything to me.
That Saddity Chic’s last blog post..Going Back To College At 27!
Ginger – I think the difference in mentality you're talking about stems from two things:
1. Your parents probably struggled when they first moved here (am I right that they came here from somewhere else??) This taught them a few things the hard way so they, being smart people, learned their lessons and learned them well. Personally, I also thing that smartness was genetic because you've obviously picked up on it. Go, girl!!!
2. I'm guessing "from the country" has a different currency and rate-of-exchange and therefore, to them, anyone earning in dollars is automatically rich. My late grandad used to think I was rich because I earned in dollars. I know he's gone and all, but it still makes me fume that I had to very rudely point out once that while I earned in dollars, the US Govt didn't exactly let me pay in rupees. I've heard this reason from too many people.
I think the bottom line is that if your parents have you or you got on your own, good work ethics, then you quickly catch on just how hard it is to earn money. And if you're smart enough to have that ethic, then aftr you've paid off any amount of debt, you'll make sure you never go back there again.
You did right to cut off your cousins. No one, NO ONE, family or loved ones, should ever be given the RIGHT TO EXPECT a handout!!!!