Guest Post: Why Every Woman Needs Mad Money
This is a guest post by Pamela Grundy, writer for Personal FInance Analyst. Personal Finance Analyst is an online community of bloggers dedicated to taking the mystery out of money and helping you to live a happier, more successful life with the money you have. I enjoyed this post and I hope you will too. Think about it as F-U money! *snicker*
When I reached dating age, a couple of centuries ago, my grandmother gave me a little coin purse with a ten dollar bill in it to take with me whenever I went out with a boy. “That’s your mad money,” she said, “Don’t spend it; just keep it tucked away in your purse so that in case you get mad, you have some money to get home on.”
I never had to use my mad money on a date, but later in life, in my mid-twenties, when I met a man whose dream it was to become an FBI agent, and he was hired and we were going to have to move to D.C., we decided to get married before we left. (I never can get things in the proper order.) I had to give notice at my factory job, where I sewed little leather camera bags with lots of Spanish speaking immigrants, Asian refugees, and Midwestern black women. My nickname at this job (it was in the 1970s) was “hippie chick.” It wasn’t a put down so much as an acknowledgment that, yes, I stuck a bit there.
To my surprise, my co-workers all took up a collection for me on my last day, and sent me off with a “Good Luck” card and this advice:
“This money is for you. Don’t tell your man about it, just put it in a little savings account in your own name so that, if things don’t work out like we all hope they do for you, you’ll have a little money to get home on.” In other words: Mad money again. I won’t lie to you, I did cry.
What I didn’t do was put the money away like they told me to do. That was foolish, because not more than I year later I had a brand new baby girl, I was living in a 15th floor flat in Rego Park, Queens, and my hubbie the fed was losing his marbles. I had to borrow money from my folks to get home on, and I stayed there until he got his act together, which only took about 20 years. Everything is fine now. He’s fine. I’m fine. The baby is will be 30 this coming February, and we now have a grandson we adore and ties us positively together even though we’ve long found other mates and other lives.
But that Mad Money sure would have come in handy.
The point is, we never know what life has in store for us, and it is not a betrayal to recognize this fact and put money aside for yourself and yourself alone. So many women think that marriage means pooling everything, all resources and possessions, all earnings. Separate accounts feel like betrayal to young lovers and newlyweds, but if you don’t maintain a sense of yourself in even the best of relationships, you eventually forget who you are and you lose the relationship too.
You may never need your Mad Money. That’s great. If that happens, you can present your man with a ten year anniversary gift he’ll never forget as long as he lives: A new pole barn, a Harley, a trip to Canada to fish for two weeks with his buddies while you go to chick flicks, get foot massages at the beauty parlor, and eat chocolate an whipped cream for dinner in front of a “What Not to Wear” marathon.
It’s healthy for couples to keep some of their hard earned money in separate accounts to use for whatever they like. And, before you tell me your life is just too expensive for that and there isn’t a dime left over to save, let me just tell you that you put the dime in first, before you pay the other bills.
You can’t buy security, but you can make yourself feel more confident and secure. Confident, secure women have healthy financial lives and happy relationships. And if by some freak of bad fortune they don’t have these things, they have Mad Money accounts to help them get back on track.
LOVED this post! It goes against some of my more traditional thoughts around couples and bank accounts but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Thoughts?
[image: LFF]
About the Author: Girls Just Wanna Have Funds is for the woman that wants to take charge of her personal finances. We value budgeting, investing, frugality and remain mindful of our spending habits. Move over and make way for women who are in control of their financial destinies and not afraid to say it. We're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time!
