The Talk: “So When Are We Having Kids?”
photo credit: Point-Shoot-Edit
I don’t know about you but having kids wasn’t the first thing on my mind when we got married. It’s a goal but not one I thought about achieving until we were both pretty settled in our careers. And, while my husband is on a solid career trajectory, I’ve yet to make a solid commitment even after two Masters degrees. So the prospect of having children before I feel that Ive settled on a commitment on what to with my life is a bit daunting.
Still, we’re able to talk about what we’ll be planning when that day does come. We can spin around in circles till we’re blue in the face but we need to be prepared once it does happen. Here’s what we talked about:
Baby Fund
We’ve started putting money away into a “baby fund” which will cover the intial expenses such as diapers, clothes, formula, doctor visits/co-pays and all the happy little expenses that come along with having a child. Our target is between $8-10k and this is so that we’ll have a nice cushion once baby is finally here. We will then transfer the balance after 1 year into a savings account for baby, 529 plan or other plan for private school if we go that route.
Educational Plan
We haven’t really discussed much around this as Im still researching how this works, the benefits etc etc. I’ve been rather lazy in this regard but we have time, so I hope.
Stay at Home or Daycare
We are pretty settled on this topic I plan to stay at home until they are school-aged as I am not comfortable with someone else essentially raising our children for 10 hours a day. I am at my best when I feel in control of a situation and having our children in daycare at the whims and influence of someone else all day while missing out on their major milestones isn’t the best option for me. When I do become a mommy this is will be my only job, I don’t want to obsess over a job, school or a career, I truly want to be dedicated to their lives and fully being a part of it. Still, I plan to be engaged in several other ventures by that time, Girls Just Wanna Have Funds, being one of them, so don’t count me out.
I had a friend who was paying upwards of $1200 per month just for daycare! I can’t imagine! Well, I can but that money would be better served in a high interest savings account. I struggled with this for quite some time because there was a time that I knew I wouldnt be caught dead at home longer than 8 weeks post baby. But, that’s changed and I really feel that I want to spend this time with our children as they grow up.
Move into a larger home or Stay Put?
Right now we have a 4BR, 3000 sq ft townhome and we’d be able to spit out 2-3 kids before really feeling the urge to move. Do I want to move? Sure! I think we could have made better decisions regarding the county we live in but for the most part Im happy with where we’re at right now. Ideally, we’d want a single family home with a large back yard and other amenities.
Where might that be? Cameron Station, Alexandria VA or Crystal City in Arlington, VA. I’ve already started calculating the total house payment with taxes and in 2-3 year’s we’ll be there if not before then. Hubby is also pressed to move back to NY and while I’ve agreed to the move, this won’t be for another 3-5 years. So we’re here in DC metro for the time being.
Private School or Home Schooling?
Public school isn’t an option. Without giving too much away about where we live, let’s just say I would quit a 200k a year job before sending our kids to a local public school. I don’t think I have ever been so disappointed in a school system and we don’t even have kids there! For the life of me I can’t see leaving our children’s education up to the absolute incompetence and mediocrity that is our local public school system. I am currently researching MONTESSORI HOMESCHOOLING as I believe given our values and goals this would be the best option for us.
I believe in children having the freedom to be self directed and being able to set their own educational milestones. My husband wants our kids to experience public school for themselves because as he put it “I turned out just fine..”…but I contend we grew up in different times and things aren’t the same. So this is an ongoing debate in our home. No final word but I always get my way 
Are We Paying for College? Should They Pay Their Own Way?
If you’ve been with Girls Just Wanna Have Funds since its inception then you know how I feel on this topic: You Can Get a Loan for College But You Can’t Get a Loan for Retirement! This is also another topic we have yet to finalize. He doesn’t want them to have to struggle with student loans but with Yale, Harvard and other Ivies giving out free tuition we may have to look into that. Neither of us wants our children to leave college with mortgage size student loans but with scholarships, and free rides available to smart children who apply themselves to the “process”, I believe they will be fine.
I’m probably missing a few things but that’s all we’ve covered for now. It’s actually exhausting thinking and talking about it but Im glad we’re able to hash out a few things before our little bundle gets here. I know some of you are thinking but this should be a wonderful time blah blah blah… well it should be and it will be but I just need to graduate first!
How did you know you were ready to have children? Did you plan or did it just happen?
About the Author: Girls Just Wanna Have Funds is for the woman that wants to take charge of her personal finances. We value budgeting, investing, frugality and remain mindful of our spending habits. Move over and make way for women who are in control of their financial destinies and not afraid to say it. We're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time!
master your card (10 comments.) | Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
I didn’t really think about any of these financial matters before having my children. Once I had paid for the fertility treatment I had nothing left to invest fo rtheir future. We are investings mall amunts of money in a trust fund for them and are hoping that they will be able to get into a good state school so we will not have to pay for their education.
Ginger | Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
Wow, I guess we should be lucky to think about this beforehand. Im very much a planner and don’t leave much to happenstance so its important to me that we plan the arrival then just jump in headfirst. I know that one can never be fully prepared but this is a start.
Luke @ realworldreally.com (2 comments.) | Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
Ginger - just wanted to say I love the new theme; I’m jealous! I might have to shell out for my own too one of these days. Anyway, congrats!
Luke
http://www.realworldreally.com
Ginger (16 comments.) | Mar 10, 2008 | Reply
*waving*
Hey Luke!
When you do, let me know, LOTS of customization went into this theme. But I love it so far!
CreoleInDC (13 comments.) | Mar 11, 2008 | Reply
Girl…I’m so proud of what you’re doing over here I just want to BURST!
CreoleInDC (13 comments.) | Mar 11, 2008 | Reply
Baby Fund - We’re much older and have been living way below our means forever so this is a non-issue for us
Educational Plan>b/> - My husband already has this. LOL! Bless his heart.
Stay at Home or Daycare - I don’t believe in daycare for children who aren’t old enough to be able to speak clearly because I want them to be able to tell me what went on during their day and to be able to say no or to scream if need be. There is daycare at my husband’s company so I wouldn’t be adverse to him taking the baby with him every now and then when I have something going on. That way he can check in on our baby often. His office is on the same floor as the daycare. LOL!
Move into a larger home or Stay Put? - We’re staying put until the BIG MOVE which will be before our child would be school age.
Private School or Home Schooling? - Montessori school in elementary because I believe a child’s studying and learning habits are developed early. With that…I believe public school would be just fine because the BIG MOVE will be in the best school district in the state. If we are still here…the schools in our district are good.
Are We Paying for College? Should They Pay Their Own Way? - Both of us were raised to believe that as long as you’re in school DOING WELL…the parents pay for you. Soon as you screw up…done. Poor investments aren’t good for anyone. Should you decide to screw up you’ll respect the opportunity more if you have to pay for it yourself. If my kid is doing well…I’d pay clear through doctorate degree. I’d rather my child not start life off in debt. I didn’t and I realize what a blessing it was.
How did you know you were ready to have children? Did you plan or did it just happen? - I didn’t know I was ready until I met my husband. He’s the kind of guy who is SUPPOSED to be a father. Love that.