The Smart Woman’s Guide for the Soon to be Divorced
All three came out on top in their respective divorce proceedings. If you’ve been under a rock and aren’t familiar with the final decisions, Juanita Jordan was paid $168 million dollars when all was said and done. You read right, $168 million dollars. After Sheila Johnson’s divorce was finalized she walked away with $670M after taxes, which several published sources report she has successfully parlayed into a portfolio in excess of one billion dollars. Due to Halle Berry’s iron clad prenup, she avoided having to support Eric Benet in their divorce. Are you in a situation where you’re soon to be divorced? I won’t play therapist in this post but if you’ve made up your mind but there are some things to consider. I hate to entertain this line of thought but the reality is that everyone won’t live happily ever after and we need to protect ourselves and our ASSets in the event divorce is a reality. Straightening out your Finances Gather all of your important financial papers and purchase a lock box if you haven’t already done so. Secure’ all important papers such as birth certificates, passports, retirement papers, bills, bank statements, tax returns and the like. You can also find more information about separating your finances here along with other solid divorce resource information. Make sure that all major financial accounts, read savings accounts are in both of your names. Many women have been screwed by their partners due to not insisting that both their names be on all major savings accounts. Start saving for the financial cost of the divorce. If you are able to remain in the situation and save money for the financial cost of the divorce then do so. As you will soon discover, divorces are expensive and will take its toll on you both financially and emotionally. Prepare for this by saving your money even more during this time. You will need to consider that you don’t have your spouse’s income anymore and will need to stand on your own financially and hire your own attorney which will be expensive. If you’re a stay at home mom/wife then now is the time to consider getting back into your career or perhaps beginning your career. Again you will need to be able to stand on your feet financially independent of your husband and create/restart your identity financially, professionally and personally. Iowa State University lists the following financial responsibilities 1. Gathering information 2. Negotiating property division Are there children involved? If so then start to prepare them for the reality of a possible divorce. Maintain an open dialogue with them and be especially open to processing any feelings they may be feeling such as anxiety and depression. Indicators may lie in falling grades, changes in behavior at school and loss of motivation for activities they were once heavily involved in. I know that as adults its easier to assume we know how children feel, but we don’t unless we pay close attention, please include your children’s feelings during this time in every decision you make. And please, for their sake and in order to maintain their respect moving forward, please don’t unload your ill feelings about your soon to be ex on them. They are children, let them have a choice in the matter. I won’t detail the many cases in which children are torn apart because of the selfishness of their parents during a divorce. Take the high and responsible road. You know where it is, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Take Care of Yourself It’s probably best to start seeing a therapist, if nothing else for the purpose of having someone to confide in and make sure that you’re remaining psychologically and emotionally healthy as divorce can and will take its toll on you. You can often reduce the cost of this by seeing someone on your health care network, EAP-Employee Assistance Program or through your local church. If the idea of talking to a counselor doesn’t suit you then find another confidant, someone you trust who will listen to you as you open your heart about the ongoing process of separating yourself from your partner. Please don’t underestimate the toll this process can have on your mind and body, take care of yourself during this time. Read more at: Womansdivorce.com: The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide I know some of you are asking, how does she know all of this? While I am happily married to the love of my life, I have had my share of bad relationships and I am a counselor in training. I quite possibly have seen and heard it all and as such I believe in being prepared. Still, no amount of preparation will shield you from the emotional toll this process will take on you. Whatever you decide, make the best decision for yourself and for any children involved.
• Keeps legal bills down
• Helps you learn family finances
• Prepares you for financial decisions
• Calls for equitable distribution
• Requires determining needs
• Includes income tax consequences
• Involves legal issues
3. Managing debt
• Calls for prompt action
• Requires listing unpaid balances
• Affects your credit rating
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About the Author: Girls Just Wanna Have Funds is for the woman that wants to take charge of her personal finances. We value budgeting, investing, frugality and remain mindful of our spending habits. Move over and make way for women who are in control of their financial destinies and not afraid to say it. We're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time!
