Guest Post on Consumerism Commentary
Filed in
Guest Post,
Marriage,
couples on February 19, 2008 with
12 comments
Check out my guest post on Consumerism Commentary: Smart Women Marry for Money, and Here’s Why.
I think this post has sparked some interesting and expected commentary which I will elaborate on later. Until then, feel free to go on over and check it out!
Thanks to Flexo for allowing me to guest post on the site, I really do appreciate it!
About the Author
Girls Just Wanna Have Funds is for the woman that wants to take charge of her personal finances. We value budgeting, investing, frugality and remain mindful of our spending habits. Move over and make way for women who are in control of their financial destinies and not afraid to say it. We're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time!
Hey, I just found my way here from Consumerism Commentary. By the way, I enjoyed the article. However I was looking through your 2008 goals and found something I thought to be out of the ordinary. It was your savings goals for two high-def tvs. Why make that a goal? If anything I would think that you would make that a goal to stay away from.
Hmmm I see your point and I agree with you now in hindsight. Still, thats a goal the husband unit has set for us as we have yet to finish furnishing our home. I am definitely not a TV person as I am not home nearly enough to warrant two TVs… however he is and wants one in the manroom and family room. But it is something to think about.
Excellent post!
Hi Ginger,
Loved your post on CC. Your site is fab too. I need to visit more often.
~SM
Excellent post! As you can tell from my comments there, I definitely agree with you. Why are some people so scared to ask such important questions before getting married? Because it’ll ruin the fairy tale romance? Divorce ain’t romantic, and neither is having the creditors call because you can’t pay your bills.
Thanks K!!
Hey Single Ma! Thanks for stopping by!
Meg- I do find it interesting that so many choose to read into the post rather than see and/or take it at face value. I think its harder for some to ask the hard questions and talk more about the FEELINGS of love and the feel good stuff like communication, charm and chemistry. All are a given on most good relationships. But wtih most marriages ending in divorce around money then financially secure is at the top of my list whether or not he makes more money than me.
I discovered your blog through this post, and I’m so glad I did! I’m subscribing promptly.
I thought it interesting how much communication was stressed. Maybe I’m reading between the lines now, but it seems like some commenters think that communication itself solves problems. Sometimes it does, maybe if the problem is simply a miscommunication, but acknowledging problems is only the first step. People should definitely communicate, and definitely about money, but communicating “we need to spend less and make more” doesn’t do anything. A couple getting married should be able to agree on financial goals and a plan to get there.
But also, a gal can’t expect a guy to change his ways just because he’s getting married. As they say, talk is cheap, and the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If a gal wants to find out a whole lot about a guy, she should look at how he spends/invests/saves his money.
Of course, I’m not saying that couples are doomed if they don’t have a clear plan or if one or both of them has screwed up financially. Goodness knows, my husband and I had a rough start of things. However, looking back, I wish we had done a better job of communicating and planning and doing, and that we had both entered into the marriage with more knowledge about managing finances.
And yes, like the other Meg, I’m a new subscriber! And to Meg, ever notice how many blogging Megs there are?
@ MEG-Bargain Queen-Looking back yes I kept thinking…what does communication have to do with financial aptitude? That’s a habit one has to learn and you can’t simply communicate that to your partner. MY hubby and I went through this big time and only recently has he taken a really good look at how we spend money and our planning for the future.
I wonder if men are threatened at the prospect of a woman really knowing her stuff and I wonder if women are afraid that men won’t like them as much if they come off as being knowledgeable in this area. I forget who said it over there (or here) but I’d go for an OK looking guy who knows his stuff rather than a guy who’s cute and spending like their no tomorrow. I don’t plan on being broke!
@ Meg (World of Wealth) Welcome and THANKS!
I think a lot of men are worried that a gal who knows ‘her stuff’ will be able to better scrutinize their money skills. Granted, the point you made is that women *should* scrutinize their money skills, and rightly so. But yeah, most guys probably feel like that’s their domain along with being the lead/sole provider in a marriage and the don’t like to be criticized because then they don’t feel quite so tough and manly. To them I say, “Stop being so thin-skinned and take it like real man.”
On a personal note, my husband admitted that he dragged his feet giving me all the info because he felt like a failure for letting things get the way they did. Granted, I helped spend a lot of it, and I could have found out much/all of the info on my own had I really wanted, so I really don’t blame him. But it was only when he and I started plugging in our balances into a spreadsheet weekly that we got an idea of how much we really owe and how long it’s going to take to get out of debt. And I will admit, we have dug ourselves a very deep hole despite not buying much at all in the way of luxury goods, big televisions, designer shoes, or lattes. It was actually pretty hard to figure out where we spent so much money because we thought we were pretty good about buying all those things that other people get into debt buying. Mostly, it was eating out a lot, buying a lot of microwaveable meals that come in boxes, and a lot of medical expenses (even with insurance).
Good day!,
Hi!,