Emotional Spending-Are you Guilty? I am!
Some of us like the term retail therapy. But that doesn’t change the fact that many of us are guilty of this financial sin which leaves us asking ourselves why did we purchase that DVF dress in the first place?
Let’s look at why we tend to overspend and ladies I mean you! (after all this site targets women 
)
I discussed previously Bankrate’s article about how women are socialized to view money as a way to maintain a certain lifestyle while men are conditioned to invest for the long term. While this isn’t true for every woman, I certainly participate in this big time! I’m not huge on mall shopping but when Im feeling down I tend to seek out things that make me feel, well, indulgent. For example, we just got back from what was supposed to be a quick 1 hour trip to the wharf to pick up crabs for the Superbowl game. Just as we passed Eastern Market, I remembered that another blogger was going to be there selling crocheted bags. And that’s a weakness of mine so I couldnt help it! But that’s not the issue. You see, once we stepped into Eastern Market it was like putting two year olds in a FAO Shcwartz store! I’ve been looking for black pearls and I found a darling necklace/earring set that I had to have. How did I justify the purchase? I deserved it since Ive been having a rough week. Even my best friend told me “go on you deserve it!” Then another lady started cheering me on and so I broke down and bought it! Argghhh! I imagined this post in my head while she swiped the card, thinking, just how am I going to justify this purchase? I won’t, only to say that it was love at first sight and I had to have it. So add to the previous weekend damage, $55. Well, $95 if you add the crocheted bag.
Evidence of the crime:
How is this maintenance of a lifestyle? Well, buying those pearls and then wearing them I feeeeel like a lady! *channeling my inner Betty Boop here* I know that most of you don’t know me in person but I am girly girl. I love most things pink, feminine, flirty and sophisticated. And in giving myself a chance to be introspective, I know that I didn’t need those pearls, I wanted them because they make me feel good. Relate much? I think most of you can and its ok, we just need to recognize this while it happening and make better decisions. Wait, I’m the one who fell into temptation here! LOL! It’s a process and I don’t profess to be perfect, I certainly have weaknesses. But I’m able to check myself most times, just not, or it becomes that much harder when pearls are involved.
Hi, my name is Ginger and I am an addict. Some of my other indulgences include Coldstone ice cream, Pier One candles, Ann Taylor Loft sales and candlelit dinners with my sweetness at Warehouse Bar and Grill.
Anyhoo, I’ve gotta do better and certainly, having this blog keeps me accountable. 6 months ago I would have bought the pearls and not given them another thought. Now I have readers to be accountable to and that’s enough to help me get back on the straight and narrow.
What are some things you purchase when you need a pick me up?
[image: SS]
About the Author: Girls Just Wanna Have Funds is for the woman that wants to take charge of her personal finances. We value budgeting, investing, frugality and remain mindful of our spending habits. Move over and make way for women who are in control of their financial destinies and not afraid to say it. We're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time!
EmilyStarbuck (1 comments.) | Feb 7, 2008 | Reply
I am so guilty of this, too. And while I hate to admit it, I agree that women do indulge a lot in things that will boost their lifestyle or social status….name brands, trendy clothes, things that make them look sophisticated and “in,” and maybe even wealthy. I never used to be into fashion until I interned at a fashion magazine two years ago (sort of a Devil Wears Prada story) and now I have to restrain myself from splurging pretty much everywhere I ago. Sometimes when I need a pick me up, I’ll go to Target and buy some cute new shoes, bags, clothes, and jewelry. It’s easy to justify because everything is so inexpensive but hip….it just adds up, so I’ve banned myself from there for a while. eBay shopping is also pretty gratifying. And buying a nice piece of chocolate cake….
What’s a girl to do?
Fabulously Broke (8 comments.) | Feb 7, 2008 | Reply
I used to be a shopaholic. Now with a long-distance BF and an insane commute to work and back, I don’t have time to shop.
So the black cloud of commuting and travelling every weekend, has a silver lining: it prevents me from shopping and makes it a hassle… I (now) just like to get in there, make a decision in half an hour, or take down some notes and go home to do research, and get out.
Best advice from a recovering shopaholic? Track your expenses and just DON’T GO.
KiniKakes (1 comments.) | Feb 7, 2008 | Reply
*sigh* Okay, my “emotional purchases” include: comforter/duvet sets, shirts from Bebe (usually done in the company of my girlfriend, who is NOT a good influence, lol) diamond charms for my charm bracelet, pink appliances for my kitchen (like i need any more of those!!!), and hair products (slowed down on this, fortunately). Most of my impulse buys occur at night, when im bored and at home alone…. Amazon is NOT your friend! LOL!!!!
As Ive said in previous posts, Ive been “clean” of my credit card since 1/1/08!!! So…. although im guilty of some recent emotional spending, at least i can say it was done using cash. But still, it’s not “okay” and i gotta keep that in mind!
This post was so on the money, girl! (Pun intended. LOL!!!)
Ginger (16 comments.) | Feb 7, 2008 | Reply
I’m glad you all FEEL ME! LOL! I was so in love with those damn pearls! Heck, Im wearing them today!
@Kini-I havent used my credit cards either since 2008 and Im being good. Actually considering *gasp* freezing them for 6 months
@ FB- You’re right, I should just NOT go, nowadays I dont even look at the Sunday paper inserts for the upcoming sales of the week.
@ hey Emily! A girl needs to stop shopping! I swear this is my weakness! Yes, Ebay and Amazon.com…*sigh* ohhh the conveniences of Paypal and Amazon having my info stored lol The iphone doesnt help in that if Im in transit I can order something in traffic *shhhh*
Durty Mo (2 comments.) | Feb 7, 2008 | Reply
I’ve never been a “shopaholic” but there are times when I feel the need to buy something, ANYTHING. It doesn’t happen often but when it does I’m like a bat out of hell. Lucky for me I’m frugal 95% of the time
*sigh*
CreoleInDC (13 comments.) | Feb 8, 2008 | Reply
#1…HOW’D THE TAPING GO WOMAN?????????
#2…I always feel like there is nothing I can contribute over here. LOL!
BK (2 comments.) | Feb 11, 2008 | Reply
My name is BK and I’m a recovering emotional shopping addict.. I’ve conquered this demon and no longer buy on a whim.. I have mastered the art of walking away and coming back to it when I have CASH in hand.. I’m still eyeing that purse though… *sigh* but I can look as long as I don’t touch
QL Girl (2 comments.) | Feb 15, 2008 | Reply
SHOES!!
For me its not so much the wanting to buy something, but its the way it makes me feel. When I was broke and in school I’d take the (free) bus to the nearest shopping center where they had a DSW. Now, to some that would have been dangerous, but luckily I have a pretty good head on my shoulders that reminded me I had no income, lol (only student loans!) Anyway, I digress….I’d spend a few hours each weekend trying on shoes, walking around the store in them and feeling FABULOUS! Most of the time that was enough for me, but then every once in a while I’d walk out with amazing clearance deals. I don’t buy based on brands, I buy what looks good and won’t leave me broke!
I think as long as you can afford something and you’re willing to make the sacrifice of spending….why NOT buy something that’ll make you feel great? (I think thats also why I don’t shop online a lot…I dont’ get that “feel factor”!) I do agree though, you need to be conscious of what you’re spending and how it will affect the rest of your finances (especially important if you have family or a spouse).
By the way, I can’t see your evidence pictures…is it my browser? (IE)
Meg (from The World of Wealth) (13 comments.) | Feb 21, 2008 | Reply
I am totally “guilty” of emotional spending, but so is everyone - even men. We just spend on different things, perhaps. What spending isn’t emotional?
Some days I love indulging in a sushi dinner and a bottle of wine, even if it’s just me on my couch! And until this year (new resolution) I had no problem splurging on a dress or some shoes at Nordstrom if I had an event I “needed” it for (wedding, business mtg, etc). I rarely shopped, but when I did I’d spend $200 or more on a single item (quality over quantity, right?). I really only indulge on eating (and drinking) out these days; being social and making new friends is a priority for me since breaking up with my BF of 3 years earlier this year. Though I am very guiltily considering splurging on a one-time maid service…
And I can’t see the pics either…
robnyc | Apr 10, 2008 | Reply
My unsafety zones are filene’s basement, sephora, amazon.com, and any bookstore. But my real splurge issues are more likely to happen at a new tapas bar where I absolutely must taste 10 different things.
Sometimes I go into a store and instantly see clothes, books or CDs that I MUST.HAVE.NOW. Often, if I take a little more time, just wandering around and looking at other things, the impulse will pass, I’ll put away the things and leave without regrets.
I have a friend who shops very deliberately. Before she buys something she will go to the store a few times, look at the item, handle it, and walk away. And then, if she still wants it after a few visits, she buys. I notice this when we’re standing at the counter and I’m carrying 5 things I just happened to see, and she’s holding one thing that she’s been thinking about buying for a week or more, and although it’s too late at that point it does make me think.
robnyc | Apr 10, 2008 | Reply
Almost forgot - my other strategy is to not carry a credit card, ever, unless I am making a very intentional, well-thought-out purchase.